Friday, January 04, 2008

I avoided it the best I could.

We didn't decorate as such, certainly we didn't use the decorations or the tree we normally use.

And somehow I still feel as miserable as if I had.

It would seem the only real way to avoid Christmas is not to know the date, not to see the ads and lights and tinsel, not to get constantly hit by other people's demands and expectations.

It was a calmer run up, it will be an easier take down. But it wasn't great. It never is and I always feel cheated.

Till next time. If there is one.
Posted by General Disorder :: 3:16 am :: 0 Comments:

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Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Not only have I been avoiding Christmas, I've been avoiding this blog! It's a double whammy of avoidance!

So far, no decorations (though I may be persuaded to raid the holly bush for a bit of natural fun) only one present for the people I normally buy for (the rest they can get themselves with cash) and the house is still a bit of a tip.

It's like I've punched through a wall of not giving a crap. I'm more relaxed and it's really odd. Maybe this is what Christmas should be, making it up as you go along instead of planning it to the nth degree.

We'll see.

Posted by General Disorder :: 7:11 pm :: 0 Comments:

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Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The nightmare before Christmas.

They're coming thick and fast now. Last night's dream was especially fun.

/sarcasm.

Posted by General Disorder :: 8:27 pm :: 0 Comments:

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Monday, December 10, 2007

I'm going quietly insane. Bad dreams, shouting at ads, panic, the works.

Just shut up about Christmas, everyone. Shut the FUCK UP! Stop telling me to buy things, stop adding bells and children in scarves to everything.

I want to kill you all!!!!1111!!1

Posted by General Disorder :: 8:09 pm :: 0 Comments:

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Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Hmm,

So I admit I think I'm getting that twitchy feeling the closer it comes to December, which is annoying. I'm trying to decide if I'm more anxious about missing a Christmas by doing nothing, or disappointing other people by handing them cash and not presents they probably didn't want in the first place.

It bites, but what's a person to do? I get so depressed about this time of year, no one helps me, no one considers how miserable I get and if they see my actions as punishing them in some way... well, maybe that's true.

I still want the fairy tale. I want not to feel pressure, I want the Disney glitter version of happy families long since lost to childhood and nothing compares to that. So I want to break Christmas, shatter it and then maybe something better will happen (doubtful).

Do I suffer, or do I come across as the villain of the piece? Am I just trying to punish myself?

That's a good question.

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Listening to: Hot Chip - Over and over
via FoxyTunes

Posted by General Disorder :: 11:54 pm :: 0 Comments:

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Tuesday, November 27, 2007

It's still November.

Piss the fuck off, Eastenders! It is NOT Christmas time. It is Tuesday!

Posted by General Disorder :: 7:42 pm :: 0 Comments:

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Monday, November 26, 2007

I can hear people whispering and mentioning the C word. This not only puts pressure on me, but someone else who doesn't enjoy this time of year.

I feel bad about that, but I'm not giving in. I'm done.

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Listening to: Christina Aguilera - Hurt
via FoxyTunes

Posted by General Disorder :: 12:31 am :: 0 Comments:

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