On how I intend to avoid Christmas- Scrooge style.

On how I intend to avoid Christmas- Scrooge style.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

The meanest critter ono the face of the earth?

Oh, the number of people who've said the classic line 'bah, humbug' at me. I feel the need to point out that it's neither original, amusing, or, indeed going to force me to change my ways simply because you think I should join in the festive season for your personal satisfaction.

And speaking of the festive season... Spring, summer, autumn, winter... festive...? Nope, don't recall being taught that season at school.

Anyway, only Scrooge says, 'bah, humbug' so by saying it too me, who does that make Scrooge?

The next bah humbug will get a lecture, or a boiled sweet in the eye.

Posted by General Disorder :: 12:40 am :: 0 Comments:

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Sunday, November 26, 2006

I don't care what you do, so long as it doesn't involve me.

Don't ask me if we should have white lights to replace the multi-coloured ones which broke last year. Don't, because I'm not doing Christmas and don't', because I'm the one who ends up struggling with them anyway. Besides, my knees and hip are bad, so that's another good reason not to do anything. Plus, I hate white lights, so dull.

What's wrong with overhead lighting?
Bah!

Posted by General Disorder :: 8:34 pm :: 0 Comments:

---------------oOo--------------- I should have known better.

Two Tesco gluten free mince pies in one day, very bad idea.

It made my stomach hurt.

Another valid reason to avoid Christmas.

Posted by General Disorder :: 2:12 am :: 0 Comments:

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Friday, November 24, 2006

Slip sliding away.

I've been feeling very down about the whole Christmas thing in the past couple of days, wondering why I should fights it, how I can fight it and not make everyone else's life a living hell and so on and so forth. Today I fancied a change in my bland diet, so I had one of Tesco's gluten free mince pies. Now, this was more because I don't get much variety thanks to food intolerances and a year eating the same old crap is killing me.

I wish I hadn't, because I forgot what soggy, stodgy crap they were. Literally, you pick them up and they collapse over your hand , plus, they're sickly and not a patch on the ones I make (when I could eat flour). Mind you, they do help remind a person why they want to avoid Christmas, though I imagine most food people eat isn't designed to make you vomit (that's just my gluten free crap.

I want to scream, I want to run away and leave everything behind. Tis the season to be jolly? Shit it! My head is locked in overload and I need peace that doesn't include Santa, a 'must buy/get into debt' attitude or fa-la-fucking la!

Posted by General Disorder :: 2:59 am :: 0 Comments:

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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Oh dear me.

The first cracking point arrived last night.

Rooting through a forum I go to I had the unfortunate fate to read a post mentioning it was just over four weeks until Christmas and my brain (which last calculated it as eight weeks) freaked out. I couldn't stop it, complete panic set in and I went straight to Amazon to order the three things I casually marked down for presents for my family (not RR, she can piss off).

Is doing that an utter failure? I mean, by this point I'd normally have everything ordered and on the way but I only have these three items (nothing more) because I can't think of anything else anyway. I feel it will sate my panic and at least I've bought something so people don't get upset.

You see, this is why I have no fun. It's all pressure and misery and that's the last thing you need on top of SAD and everything else. I want the Christmas card scenario, where people are happy with nuts and a satsuma and it snows.

Bah, this is all shit.

Posted by General Disorder :: 9:42 pm :: 2 Comments:

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Monday, November 20, 2006

I wonder if they'll have time for this...

Someone in Tenting HQ is writing out their Christmas cards... it's November the 20th, five weeks until the deadline. I could walk the country in five weeks and anyway, using silver and gold pen because the inside is a bit bland will not make things better.

Christmas cards are bland because no one really gives a crap about the sentiment and really, is anyone so anal as to read the verses?

Posted by General Disorder :: 10:47 pm :: 0 Comments:

---------------oOo--------------- It's your fault, Noddy Holder!

I really loathe Merry Christmas Everyone by Slade. I find it a bit depressing, thanks to the line- Look to the future now, it's only just begun'. Now, as someone who hates to look to the future (because it's usually daunting/pissy) this song only serves to remind me of the fact.

So, how much to I hate the combination of that and cheesy children singing it for a well-known supermarket ad. I can't stand it! Argh, are they trying to kill me?

Posted by General Disorder :: 12:36 am :: 0 Comments:

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Saturday, November 18, 2006

Why not?

If they can ban junk food within children's programmes, can't they ban Christmas ads before December?

Posted by General Disorder :: 9:49 pm :: 0 Comments:

---------------oOo--------------- The cold hand of doom.

I'm starting to feel the unconscious pressure of not doing Christmas. As one of the other Tenters said, it's little digs and small drops of emotional blackmail and I don't like it at all. How is it fair to find yourself almost forced into whacking together the perfect festive season just because someone else says 'uh, I guess we're not decorating then' or 'I can't get around to dust' in a whiny, inherited from that bitch RR (ex) voice.

How can we make them understand we're tired, broke and dysfunctional enough without this. I loathe thinking about this time of year and that's not how things are supposed to be.

Season of goodwill? I don't think so.

Posted by General Disorder :: 12:13 am :: 0 Comments:

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Thursday, November 16, 2006

?

Maybe I'm cold hearted, but all I can think about this whole Farepack Christmas fund collapse is a, why didn't you use a bank and at least gain interest on your savings and b, if you couldn't use a bank, hide it in under a floorboard.

Nobody ever asks that to them. But, again, I'm cold hearted and hate Christmas.

Posted by General Disorder :: 7:22 pm :: 0 Comments:

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Tuesday, November 14, 2006

I hate it.

Even if I were to buy presents this year I wouldn't for my elder sibling as today, without a doubt, I came to the conclusion I dislike her intensely.

If you want to know the reasons then follow the link in the sidebar to Voice of the Tent. Seriously, you couldn't make some of this shit up.

Posted by General Disorder :: 9:23 pm :: 0 Comments:

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Monday, November 13, 2006

The Christmas Nazi will die this year!

I've come to the conclusion (after watching a programme) that I have a case of middle child syndrome in that I've been trying -over the years- to gain attention by making Christmas perfect for everyone (ungrateful sods). This, I feel, is another bloody good reason to let it all go to shit.

Someone I know has done all their Christmas shopping, and a couple of others are nearly there. I admit I would be well on the way by now, with lists etc. But, aside from dropping an item or two into my Amazon wish-list (to remind me what they were) I've done nothing at all.

Those who need it can have the cash and get what they want. Oh, except older sib. She can piss off.

Posted by General Disorder :: 11:21 pm :: 0 Comments:

---------------oOo--------------- Ouch.

Getting a splitting headache, probably caused by Christmas. Stupid advert had me singing a Christmas song, which was most annoying.

I'd rather have the headache.

Posted by General Disorder :: 1:56 am :: 0 Comments:

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Sunday, November 12, 2006

It's at times like these...

I admit it, trying to ignore Christmas is exceptionally hard. I'll admit to wanting to throw myself into the whole thing more out of a bid to distract from depression than anything else and the thought of having twinkly lights in the dark, miserable days of winter will probably be the breaking point (if it comes to that). It also occurs to me that I should clarify this blog in that I will talk about Christmas, but in reference to my attempts to give it the flick this year and see what happens.

I see all these ads where it's jolly Victorian times and they knew the true meaning of this time of year (cor blimey, Mr Scrooge, and all that) that's the Christmas I want and don't get- where people have fun, where family care and don't vanish off to work and where you come away feeling happy, content and slightly drunk. What I don't like is brats with too many toys, not being able to eat Yorkshire pudd and stuffing, my family going their separate ways (dad with face in a book all year never changes at this point and simply gets worse, mum off to work and then to her room to watch TV, older sib... well, she's a bitch, so don't go there).

I want the fairy tale. Not the stress.

Rebellion sucks. Christmas of today sucks. I suck.

Posted by General Disorder :: 5:29 am :: 0 Comments:

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Saturday, November 11, 2006

I had a mental lapse!

So, very early this morning, we're talking five in the am I thought, 'this blog isn't pretty enough to suit me, time I went looking for a template not in the ones provided'. So, off I went on my way and came up with a Christmas template that actually snowed! I loaded it up.

As I dozed off to sleep my brain shouted, 'what the crap are you doing? This is an anti Christmas blog!' At which point I fell back to sleep and dream about Lost (which is another annoying thing).

So today, I decided it was time for General Chaos to fully emerge and return to the blog . That's far more like me.

Though I may still make it snow...

Posted by General Disorder :: 11:35 pm :: 0 Comments:

---------------oOo--------------- They'll get everywhere.

So someone nameless, in their wisdom, has purchased a selection of Tesco Christmas sequin confetti things. I think they're meant to go in cards (unsuspectingly falling onto your nice clean floor- happy hoovering) and have been lurking beside the kettle in the kitchen for days (where everything ends up eventually at Tenting HQ).

I found out who had bought them because I wanted to know why they were there and for what reason. The reply I received was thus:

'For sprinkling on the table at Christmas'.

I refer you first to the top paragraph and the mention of hoovering. Second, we already have some of these from Christmases past and all we ever learned was a, it looks stupid, b, we can't see them beyond the massive plates and c, they don't match the general purple/green colour scheme.

My reply to this fun idea?

'Uh, whatever.'

Very Emo, I thought.

But, case in point about them going onto the floor? I found the bottom of a party popper and rogue streamer the other day from last year.

I rest my case.

Posted by General Disorder :: 4:59 am :: 0 Comments:

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Thursday, November 09, 2006

Buy these albums, your loved ones will have a better life...

Do they really think that by not having an ad break loaded with Christmas ads I won't spot the increase in 'album' ads instead. Oh, and that boots ad, whilst quite fun, is going to really get on my nerves if I hear it every other moment for the next two months.

It's also very hard to avoid Christmas when threads in a forum you frequent are on subjects such as 'Have you put your tree up yet?' or 'I can't wait until Christmas, can you?'.

It's November! Do people celebrate other things months ahead? No, because it's silly.

Posted by General Disorder :: 8:34 pm :: 0 Comments:

---------------oOo--------------- Another success, I think.

Do you love London at Christmas? Lights twinkling from every tree? I keep hearing this annoying ad when I listen to magic.fm late night.

Well, no, and I don't love London even when lights aren't disguising the filth, crap and chavs, thank you, now bugger off.

I managed to avoid Christmas very well today, aside from the above mentioned. I admit, my resolve wavered under the onslaught of a waft of seasonal feeling that slapped me out of the blue, but then I remembered I'm going to be tough, and strong and it went away. I'm more concerned about getting my shit from Amazon, right now, and the impending expenditure of Guitar Hero 2 (I will play Carry on my Wayward son).

Whenever I falter I'll watch Supernatural, or think of beaches- ignoring the Christmas pudding in the kitchen, which someone bought to put back. I can't eat it, anyhow, and the gluten free one takes about a week for me to eat alone. I can feel the stomach ache now.

Posted by General Disorder :: 2:10 am :: 0 Comments:

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Tuesday, November 07, 2006

I've had enough,dammit!

So, as a spin-off to the grumpy bastard rant at Tenting Towers and fed up with Christmas ads and decorations in October, I decided I needed a place away from the 'happy' people into which I could spout my vitriol without them trying to point out the error of my ways.

Yes, I'm looking at you lot, over on my flist elsewhere. So, back to Blogger I come, like a beloved miscreant.

For those who give a crap, I have this recurring nightmare where it's Christmas day and I've done nothing toward it. I've not decorated, bought presents, nothing, nada, zip. I end up fucking miserable at Christmas because I do most of the bloody work to make the rest of the family happy and get nothing out of it myself. So, time to strike and hopefully bring that nightmare into reality (it's going to happen, I dreamed it more than once like those others that come true) and this is the year I quit.

Here's hoping I can stay strong in the face of panic and ever-increasing attempts to Scrooge me by ad companies and shmaltzy Christmas films.

Fingers crossed.

Posted by General Disorder :: 11:50 pm :: 0 Comments:

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